Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in prisonernum0109's LiveJournal:

Saturday, December 11th, 2004
2:25 am	pukin aint easy wait yes it is, so i got broncitus or something like that, im on antibiotics and they totaly suck. ok my symptoms are im light headed, drowsy, and nausious. now lets take a look at the side effects of the meds are shall we, ok, one, may cause light headedness, two, may cause drowsyness, and oh wait, whats that, oh yeah, looks like may cause nausious. what the fuck. i cant tell if the drugs are working or not. oh well. so i didnt go to school on thursday or friday, way too sick. and i was suposed to practice with the guys on thursday, but i couldnt get out of bed, but we started as soon as danny got out of shcool on friday. we practiced all the songs and they all sounded like they were fine, maybe a little work but nothing noticable. so we do nothing but practice till the show, something we prolly should have done all week but we like trouble, what can i say. it truly is a good game. any who, we get to the party, and for starters, there are so many people there who werent invited, three people came up to kenny and asked if he was chris, now im sorry, but thats just disrespectful. dont go crash someones birthday party without a gift and without knowing who the person even is. ok, so we go up first, and have you ever seen the movie the replacements, well theres this one scene when kiano is talking about quick sand. its when you make one mistake and the next thing you know, in order to correct it you make two more. well us playing was kinda like that. we had the songs down, and then they fell apart. someone messed with the bass amp. jason broke a string. dan fumbled with the beat, only twice, and we did pick up. and jason kinda forgot the songs, but hey, im not singing, and im sure its hard as shit to remember all of them. so got some beef with that, come talk to me. but there was cheering, that was a first, haha. i realy didnt like the churchy kid stareing at us disaprovingly. that i could have lived without. but i like the show, it was nice. oh one other little tiny thing. the whole being sick while playing, yeah, not good. the entire time i was playing i was thinking, ok, hold it in just a little longer. so i got through the song and everything went down hill from there. i was sitting trying to relax, and then, i went upstairs and puked a little, so i coulnd stay there any longer, lin took me home and we cuddled a little. that was nice. she made me feel better. well thats the weekend so far. wait, i almost forgot. jacob is in town and im happy. i think he leaves tomarrow, im not really sure, but im hoping to hang with him a little more befor he goes. hes living in ashville now and hes only an hour away. ok, now i think thats it, so, im gunna go take some more of those stupid fucking pills and lie down while the side effects overpower the same thing there trying to cure, fucking medicine, i swear. invinted by comies if you ask me. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, December 5th, 2004
10:50 pm	pauly!!!!! thats right, paul is back in town, what a guy. i missed him so much, although i would never come back to this place, no matter how long your gone for, this place doesnt change. so firday night, im spending the night with jason, we watched just maried and simbad the pirate thingy. it was fun. then we wake up and go band practice with dan and sammy. shes nice, and we learned a new song all the way through, although i dont think that theres words. jason got to play with his new guitar, its a kent. what ever that is. but its alright. then me jason emily dan and brit brit went to go eat at taco bell. it was good. then we went to pet smart and played in there, and then to books a million till emily had to go home and brit had to go meet karina at the movies. then we droped off jason and emily and me and dan went to go meet paul. we sat around doning nothing in this parking lot for a while then dan when home and me and paul went to meet nicole, who i would have prefurred not been there. she found some pot and we all got stoned. i was out of my mind, and somehow paul can just smoke it like its a cigarette. well he droped me off and i passed out. then lin lin came over and we watched scarface. then she had to go home and thats about how my weekend went. hope everyone had a good one too. ok, i love you, bye bye (Comment on this)
Monday, November 29th, 2004
10:45 pm	if your happy and you know it clap your stumps dont ask, im not even sure i know at this point. so things have been going good, lins got back from texas, man does she have alot of family, sorry sweety but you do. school sucks and its kicking my ass, well some classes are, most arent. my mom told me shed pay for my classes so i can get back my licence, but i havent heard about it in a while, my sister is suposed to take me some day after school, but hasnt yet, her car is such a piece of shit, i had to help her push start it this morning, talk about the most embarassing thing ever. spent all of my birthday money and i dont even know what i spent it on. oh well, thats the good thing about having your birthday so close to christmas, if you get something you dont want, theres another holliday right around the corner. lin if your reading this, sorry i didnt pick up when you called, i know i told you that i would be awake, but when dan droped me off, i just couldnt keep my eyes open. sorry again, ill make it up to you. chel thanks for the sign, ill pin it on my wall or at least put it in my computer folder. ok, well im still really beat, im gunna try to get back to sleep, maybe ill watch scarface again, that seems to do the trick, i mean dont get me wrong, its a great movie, ive just seen it like a hundred times already. ok, call me... i mean it, if you want to talk, im hear, unless im busy, shitting, or sleeping, and even then ill still talk to you, unless im sleeping, then leave me alone, ok, call me (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 23rd, 2004
6:52 pm	The Song of the Monarc Butterfly??? thanks for writing me back, jasons the shit, sos emi, and of course, the lin myster. im not rightly sure who that last person was, rob maybe, cant tell. any who. the birthday was great, lin got me wanes world 1 and 2, sweet, my sister got me scarface, the shit, jasons mom got me money, what a sweety, dan got me an electric rasor, i like it but its so expensive that i kinda want the money, though i dont think my moms gunna let me return it. and jason and bill and emi got me... well if you already know then your still laughing at me, and if you dont, then im not telling so there. and my mom got me what i really want, she gave me some money and is signing me up for the class i gotta take to get my license back, yay. although i have to go there late every tuesday and thursday, but at least i can drive, and shes paying for a month of insurance so i can find myself a real job. things arent as bleak as they seem. She also has expressed her great dislike for the idea of me going into the military and is offering to pay for most of my college. so great. um... dan got a new drum set, im soooooo jealous, its so sexy and i wish it was mine. i dont know what to do with all the money, i dont wanna blow it all on one thing, but i dont wanna blow it all on alot of things i dont care about, ill think of something. its thanksgiving break. lin is in texas by now. man. texas is sooooo lucky. shes not coming back till sunday, im gunna miss her. jusin wanted to go to platinum tonight but couldnt, he wants to go tomarrow night, but britt called befor him and wanted to hang, i hope i can do both, cause i havent seen her in a while and i was hoping we could find a way to spend my money. im thinking of hanging with dan tonight, hes at rocks and ropes, i really dont wanna be bored this break. but im sure i wont. oh, not five mins ago, nari talked to me online, it wasnt anything great, she said happy b-day and then she had to go, at least were still talking. i bought my fist legal pack of smokes yesterday, i got carded... but i didnt matter, cause im 18, haha bitches, suck on that. oh and the guy wished me a happy birth day, which i took as a good sign. ok, call me if you wanna talk, laterz (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 18th, 2004
8:10 pm	Yeah Bu Dee right so i havent written in this stupid thing in a while. partly cause my computer is a piece of shit, and secondly cause, didnt really feel the need. well now that im sure that no one is gunn read it, here goes. so... well lets see. my birth day is in two days. yay. not. its kinda making me feel depressed. i dont want anything. i dont want cds, no cloths, no games. its pissing me off. i dont even want a cake. i told my mom she can pay for my car lessons with my birth day money, that how much i dont wanna have a birth day. and then she got pissed at me, like she didnt want me to drive or some shit. then she went off about my sister, and i just really didnt want to hear about it. well so happy birth day. um the band sounds so fucking good now. i can play a semi good completely my own bass line every now and again. dans kicking ass on the drums and jason, well hes jason, no need for improvement, even if there was room. i think the next time we play is at chris's b-day party, for some reason, i like other peoples birthdays more than i do my own, but it should be fun. still have to think of a good gift. simone is talking to me again, i dont think shes really liking me again, but she is starting to come around. so thats always good. im finding my self talking to more and more girls. for some reason there alot better to talk to then guys. i mean, guys will talk to one another on the phone every now and again, but it only to say whats up or what are we doing and when. but yeah. so that leads me into nari. we had a semi fight thingy. it wasnt really a fight, but for some reason i dont wanna talk to her untill ive calmed down. i dont really feel like elaborating on it. i tried talking to regan a few times, it never really does much good. shes always up for small talk i think, but i guess id just rather things be cool. i hate it when i see her in the halls when im with lin and i have to either act like i dont care, which i guess i dont, but if i notice then maybe i do. but anyway, i just dont like those situations. well i tried on several ocations to start up a converstion, but it leads to an argument, although shell claim that it was nothing and that everything was cool, and i hate that, i hate it when she cant tell me that she doesnt like me, or that shes pissed at me, well w/e, i dont even know why i bother. so back to all the girls ive been talking to, there have been quite a few. it started with talking to julie, amp's little sister (im not talking to her anymore, cause we had a fight over, im not sure), then i started talking to page, her friend and weve been keeping in touch, then i started talking to chelsea, nari's friend, and shes a bit distant, but shes still cool. and ive always talked with brit, shes cool and we can relate on stuff. lin lin is the shit though, she keep me happy and she the only good thing that i think ill have on my birth day, no pun intended. i still havent thought of the perfect gift to get her for christmas, i gotta ask ashley, but she doesnt like me ever since, well i started dating her sister. maybe its a sister thing, im not sure. lins mom likes me finaly, and i think her dad does too. cant really tell with him, hes a bit flamboyant. but her moms really cool they came over, well that will be the next paragraph. la la la, space missing (drunk, memory gone) or is it??? thats about it, i think justin might take me to a strip club on tuesday, im not sure if i wanna go yet, but ill be 18 so who cares ps. seth (from the oc) i feel your pain, ive been there too. what the fuck, im talking to a fictionary person. oh well (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 20th, 2004
5:24 pm	long time no see so i guess its been a while, well ive missed you. i hope youve missed me too. um... im not sure where to start. so here goes, me and lin have gone farther than i thought we would. well thats kinda an understatement. i dont wanna get into it, but lets put it this way, YEAH BABY! bill and ems party finaly came. it was sweet. didnt do much, but all and all it was a pretty good night. max and roughlie looked nice. i mean really really nice. and dan smelled like the sexiest woman on earth. jason for some reason or another decided to go with the fo-hock, not knockin it or anything, just letting the record be known. all the girls looked alright, i guess its hard to get the guy look down. i think thats a little funny, we do nothing to look like we do, and its hard to make it look natural. i made em a house of pop sicle sticks, she liked it, and i got bill 36 packs of raman noodles. he liked it im sure. i liked dans gifts the best. me and jason helped collect them. we just went around dans house putting different bugs in tape and then giving them names. dan and jason had to get the two spiders, cause as we all know, i hate them with a pashion that is bottomless. man that last sentance was fucked up. ok. then he got emily two fives in a water balloon. i thought that was quite clever. me and lin had our two month last sunday. we didnt do anything special, although i know she wanted to at least a little. but it was still fun, we stayed over here and watched a movie, and then when to her house and watched some tv with her sisters, i really like her family, they can be really cool sometimes. im a little scared about homecoming, dont know what to whear and stuff, but i got a week, so ill find something. justin came into town the night of bills party, we drank some afterward, nothing special, but still fun. he promises me hes coming again this weekend, i hope homecoming doesnt fuck with that, but that will be fun too. i miss jacob, i cant wait till he comes back. well thats about it for now, might spend some more time with lin this week, her dads going out of town, and her moms really cool about us having our space. ok, later. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 6th, 2004
9:23 pm	you were my best girlfreind, for me to poop on!!! yeah, so regan was giving me crap friday in class, well fuck her, im not dealing with it, she can go to hell and never talk to me again. she does this all the time. im not taking it anymore. we had band practice today, it was sweet, we didnt really get anything down, but its sounding alot better. i mainly saw lin lin all weekend, man, now thats a fun chick. we didnt really do much, but my mom kinda cought us making out. well maybe a little more than that, but nm. i got really fucking stoned this friday, man was it nice, that senior guy is the best. well at doing that sort of thing. nari and mer were there, they seemed a little held back. and so was everyone that graduated last year. it was so fucking great, best weekend so far. well thats about it, im done for now, oh, i gotta talk to steven troutmen also, thats gunna be fun. ok im gone. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
10:33 pm	as good as it gets im happy, im finaly in love again. i thougth it wouldnt ever happen after, well yeah. but it has. im in love and it feels great. school sucks and im not getting my periods changed, but i dont give a rats ass. ill take them and learn to live with it. lin gives me a ride when she doesnt have band after school. and emily said im always free to ride with her, althogh a van full of girls isnt my first choice, i know steph and nari are always there if emily is ever sick. although come to think of it, i cant remember a time when she was. im starting to feel better about how this year is going, i wouldnt mind a few minor changes but over all, its going good. i got band practice with dan and j-dog tomarrow, i hope we can get one down this time, i would like to do it again on friday if we could, so that maybe we could get things on a roll. went to see the princess diaries 2 tonight with lindsey. if you havent seen it, dont, it sucks, and im telling everyone who hasnt read this that we saw terminator 4. thats about it cept for the shout outs. gotta give mad props to nari, hey, we need to hang, ill see if we can do that thing, but let me know ahead of time. emily your next, thanks for always saying positive shit on my journals, it means alot. didnt get the mexican thing though. brittany talor, hey, whats up, how did you get my lj? i thought that no one had it, well anyway, you still havent called me, i wanna try to get into your pants, so let me already. jk. call me though. ok, im gone, have a delicious day! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
1:15 am	wtf ok, so i hate all this person, and one of my freinds shit, if you wanna say my name, go for it, i dont give a rats ass. and second, i gave you a nod, thank you very much. last time we talked, after i "insulted your great country" i asked you what it would be like at school. you could have said, freinds, you could have said, ill say hi every now and again, and maybe talk to you sometimes. but no, you said, i dont know how things will be. so i took that as, i guess when shes ready shell make some sort of move tward being freinds. well you didnt, and i took that as ok, she doesnt want to talk to me, fine, i wont talk to her. so i havent. and as for the whole, you being pissed at me for wanting to forget alot of shit. well then maybe you shouldnt have made live hard on me the past summer. if it wasnt stringing me along and giving me false hopes that we would ever go out again. it was you telling me that i would happen in the most unfortunate times. i mean why would you do that? was it to be mean and piss me off? i was so close to dumping someone who really cared about me, and for what, your so messed up all the time that i get depressed everytime i talk to you or read your lj. we never have a real freind conversation. i know thats partly my fault, but only cause i cant forget the past, sure i like the good times, and i miss them, but when i think about them, it goes very quickly back to the bad ones. this i high school, in 10 years neither one of us is gunna care who did what with who. so why the fuck are you getting all pissed at me? if you dont wanna be my friend then fine, if you do, then maybe bad mouthing me on your lj isnt the best way to let me know that. thanks for the offers for rides guys, i dont know though, i might just walk like a mexican, its not that far and the exercise couldnt hurt. i fucking hate school, and fuck anyone who gives me crap for saying so. also, fuck anyone whos pissed that im not having a good time, maybe when im not so angry at people that i care about, i might start to enjoy myself, but untill then, i feel like shit! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 23rd, 2004
11:23 pm	oops yeah, that right down there, should be write, ok thats it (Comment on this)
11:09 pm	future first day of school. more like worst day of school. i hate first days more than i hate jews. you dont know whos gunna be in your lunch, or your classes. half the time you end up in some wigger class and you cant stand the people you sit next to. today made me really wanna not have a senior year. every class sucked, all my freinds, well most of the guy ones, are in first lunch. i was thinking that i might just drop out when i turn 18 and join the army then. theres nothing holding me back here anymore. i know im gunna be leaving friends behind, but i just cant stand to live like this anymore. dont take what i just said seriously, i know that getting my ged is the first thing i have to really do befor i can make up my mind about anything, so ill stick it out. unless something really bad happens. i wanna change my classes. i cant have a seventh period. i dont have a ride home in the afternoon. i ended up getting one from some nice girl who i didnt even know. i think i can write that my mom needs me home to watch my little brother when i get home and so i need to be home after sixth. so that means that i drop my teachers aid, i really dont wanna do that, i really like mrs. sherlock. but i have to. so i also wanna get out of marine science. i would rather switch to ap phisics. i did alright in the first one and from what i hear, its the same only faster, which i can do. finaly talked to regan the other day. yeah, things went as expected, we argued and i hung up. then she called back and we left it at, we both dont know how to act around one another. that made second period fun. hopefully i can get out of that period too. i hate that alot of my classes are full of juniors. i dont know them, and i really dont wanna get to know new ones. well, to sum up, school sucked just the right amount to kill any life that i still had inside me. if the counsoler cant do anything for me, i dont know what ill do. later, and dont right anymore sappy shit, i thank you for it, but it just makes me feel bad when i read it. emily, i like you too. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
5:26 pm	if you cant say something nice, matt will say it for you yeah, so me dan jason and bill went up to bills lake house the other day. dans dad and brother came too. it was pretty cool. we rode the jet skies all day and now im sitting in this chair with great posture cause my back is killing me. i was all set on not doing anything the next day, but god damn justin had to drag my ass to the fucking jok-u-lot thingy. i was so fucking weak and tired, but i fought through it. i came out with a darth vader back pack, which im wearing the first day of school, and a moses tie, that i also might be wearing. yeah, so i think something might be wrong with me and lin. im not really sure. we dont talk like we used to, and i think she might be tired of me. but the main thing is i have no money. when i was dating regan, i got as much as i needed from my mom. but since my wreck, she stopped giving me money. well she still does, but only when i ask for it, and i dont like to do that, cause i know i should have a job by now. but im pretty sure that lindsey is under the impreshion that im poor. now when it first came up, i didnt think much of it, i thought, well its just cause my mom doesnt give me money anymore. but now i dont know, i mean, we live in this fucking apartment, and i guess i always get what i want, but it made me think. i know i have a single parent, but i dont like this life. and when i told lindsey that i didnt like the fact that she thought that i was poor, she said that she was sorry, and to forget about it. but thats not what i wanted her to say. i wanted her to say that she didnt think that i was, but she didnt, and then i told her that i didnt feel good and got off the phone. i fucking hate this life, but as soon as im gone, i think things will get better. earlier in the summer i couldnt wait untill school started, but now that its only a day away, im not wanting it so much. im glad that im gunna see alot of people that i havent seen all summer, but now i have to think about shit that i wish i didnt. i have to worry about grades, this time im doing things right, if i have any chance of getting money to go to collage, then im gunna have to work my ass off. and id really really rather do that then to do the other thing. and then theres the fact that i dont have a ride home. every one of my freinds days end at sixth period. and mine ends at seventh. so i either have to walk, find a ride from someone, ask a freind to come back for me, or drop my teachers aid class which i dont wanna do cause its mrs sherlock and i love her. and again, theres the whole lunch thing. if not enough people are in my lunch that i know, im gunna be sad, not that i dont have teachers aid befor or after it, but still, its gunna get on my nerves. well thats about it for now. bill ill pay you tomarrow (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 17th, 2004
1:08 am	right............................. ok, im responding so what someone wrote on theyre lj. one, im never really mad at you, and you know that. two, i dont give a rats fucking ass who you have a crush on, for all i care it could be paul again, and the two of you are butt fucking every night. i dont care, i was mearly asking cause i dont want you dating some jack ass. three, i know you lie to me and i know you do it alot. now weather its big or not, id still rather you not do it. four, i sing on the fucking phone, you and i both do it in fact, and have been doing it for over a year and a half. and five, why do you always write shit about me, or hang up on me, or leave a mean message on my phone, and then take it all back the next time you talk to me. i dont know what your thinking most of the time and id really like to. you know that i like you and would really like to be on that list of your close friends some day. but your not making it very easy for me. p.s. sorry if that was a bit harsh. right, so im really dreading going back to school, i thought it was gunna be great like a week ago, but now that its less than a week away, im getting scared. man i fucking hate not having a car, and now that i dont have a license, i cant get a parking pass. man, this year isnt going to be easy. me and lindsey are doing great, she told me that she loved me and i told her that i loved her back. shes really busy cause she has band stuff and all, but she spends the free time that she gets with me, and that makes me feel special. she came over to my place the other night, that was great. she came over at 7 and didnt leave untill 12. i wont get into the details cause i know she wouldnt want me to. but lets just say it was nice to have her alone for a change. dan is going out with sammy. im happy for him, and ive been talking to her more and more and im starting to like her again. i want her to come and hang out with me and dan and everyone sometime. i cant tell if laurel is mad at me or not. but if you are, im sorry, and call me, you have my number. regan came and woke me up the other day. she brought berret over too. what the fuck was she thinking? i wanted to kill that fucker for even stepping foot into my house. she knows that i dont like the fact that i live in an apartment. and knows that i hate letting people know that i live here. but no, she brought him anyway, and not only that, she brought the fucker who said that he wished i had died. that was so fucked up, but i played it off like i didnt care, and never really mentioned it. well i guess thats it for now, sorry, but some of that suff i just had to get out, i never talk about it, but that was so fucked up! DONE!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 12th, 2004
6:14 pm	rats and things.... we are all at jasons house right now... this is alexandra and laurel. we love matt and jason and emily and justin and everyone else. funny how his girlfriends last name is Sebastijan. how ir onic. tonight is only a dream away, i hope it comes true. well, i think we are about to go to the mall or something? well... heres boo. Hello Matt! today was fun, we should hang out more...even if you like my shoes a little too much. thats ok! i'll give you one for the wall...maybe. ha ha. Laurelyialiah and artemis70. Lots of love. bye bye! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 4th, 2004
1:16 am	life is like a constant kick in the ass, and they just keep commin right so regan made up her mind, and were gunna try to be freinds, i can do it if she can do it, thats all im gunna say about that. lindsey wants me to go visit her at school tomarrow, shes in band, and theyre having a band camp thingy. ever since she started doing it, ive felt bad. i never get to see her, and she can never talk long on the phone, it just makes me sad. we used to stay up late and talk for hours, now she cant do that, but im looking forward to visiting her at school and bringing her some food. i gotta ask my mom for some money though, i hope she gives me some. shes been so pissed at me the past few days. i miss dan, i really want him to come back. hes been gone too long and i really wanna see him again. on top of that, paul is leaving untill friday, that sucks balls. i know he isnt leaving for collage for a while, but ive hardly seen him all summer. but he promised to hang out when he comes back friday. me and jason learned a billy talent song today, the ex. it sounds good, but that guy has a really weird voice, it will be a hard song. another reason that we need dan back. my mom keeps pressing me to get a job. i got an app. for mcdonalds, i really dont wanna work in fast food, but a job is a job. and its only untill i get my car, then i can find a better one. kevin, bills co-worker said that he can get me a job at kircut kitty whenever i need one. so thats a plus. and the guy is trying to quit smoking so he keeps giving me his pack every time hes leaving. good guy. im trying to decide weather or not to do something to berret when if i see him when i go to visit lindsey. i dont think they can do anything, but w/e. i hung out with eileen a few days ago, that was weird. she seemed really desparate to hang out with someone, and only had me. but sammys back in town so i think shes ok now. we just went and buged bill at work, and she thought that kevin was cute so i gave him her number. she wasnt happy about that, but i think she was a little bit on the inside. me and justin hung out too. we didnt really do much, we just kinda sat around his house and played some donky kong 2, diddy kongs adventure. now thats a game. then he droped me off at jasons cause he wanted to hang out with julie, what a douch, or however you spell it, i dont use them. ashley told me she had a crush on this nate guy, i hope she follows up with it. shes so shy that when they went to the movies with chel and brandon that she didnt even sit next to him. i really need to talk to you if your reading this. well im glad i know now that lindsey is the one. i feel like shit thinking what i was thinking. but i told her how i feel and she was fine with it. and now im with her. i went and saw the village a few days ago. if you havent seen it yet, dont, its a horrible movie and the things arent even real. there now i ruined the movie for you, now you have no reason to give that movie any more money. and also, nari, you suck so much. you said that you were gunna call and you didnt. thats so not cool. i hate it when people do that. but if you had called i would have been busy anyway, so im not that mad. but we should still get together some time. call me, i mean it. laural is a little mad. i told her that dan was kinda seeing sammy, but they most likely werent gunna date, and she was pissed that he still wouldnt talk to her. i wanna hang with you some time too. i havent seen you all summer except for when me and justin stopped by at subway so that justin could check out cassy or something like that. sorry that i brought up that whole alex thing, i just thought that since you were so close that she would be going too, but i dont really care, i just dont like it when people dont like me, and i didnt make a really good impreshion last time. well you call me too. i really miss simone the most, we used to talk every morning when i woke up. id call her and shed talk untill her soaps came on. now shes so busy with work that im never able to get a hold of her, and if i do, its online and not the same as when we talk on the phone, i love the way she yawns. its so cute. you and everyone call me!!!!!!!! i really hate everyone who went to warped tour in charolette. thats so gay, i wouldnt have gone to the atlanta one had i known that so many people were going to this one. and then when they all get back the have to tell me how much fun they had. i hate them all. and then steph tells me that she got her shirt signed by everyone in billy talent, that really got me pissy. if your reading this steph, im getting that shirt one way or another, ill rip it off your back if i have to. actually, that is the only way i wanna get that shirt from you. we hung out at bills tonight, it was pritty cool. nick, bills cousin is leaving tomarrow, that really sucks, that kid is alright. but kevin was there, so i got a pack of smokes when the night was over, and so was the other nick, erika, jason, and rouly. i had to talk to everyone on the phone though, im thinking of throwing that thing out the window. it seems that whenever im about to have fun, the bastard rings, or when im in the middle of an important conversation. but w/e. i also went to the pool with regan and jason, it was alright. i had a little bit of fun, but for the most part it was a little restrained on my part. i dont think im ready for a friend relationship with regan, but if its all i get, then ok, ill deal. well thats about it, sorry i wrote so much, but i havent talked on this thing in a while. so im tired, im going to bed now. again, call me if your name was mentioned earlier, and if it wasnt, and you need to talk, all anyway. im always here. later (Comment on this)
Sunday, August 1st, 2004
5:42 am	jfdkslajfdklsa;jfdksla; i realy dont care who reads this, theres only one person in particular that i want to anyway. i have been so fucked up the past 2 weeks and its because of you. i dont want you to take that in the wrong way. its my problem. regan, i love you, and im always gunna love you, so much that youll never realy know, so much that my heart has been bursting ever since you told me that you still loved me too and you still wanted something with me. i wanna just pick things up from where i fucked them up some 4 months ago. or start all over and relive the good times. i want to hold you again in my arms and never let go. "i wanna run through the halls of my high school, i wanna scream at the top of my lungs". haha, lame joke, but i needed to keep it a little interesting to anyone else reading this, who is already bored im sure. i want all of that and so much more, i want to marry you and have kids together and grow old like your damn parents, who dont realy do anything anymore, and just sit around all day enjoying eachothers company. but ive wanted that for so long, and got no response from you that it seemed like it would never happen, i had forgotten everything else in the world execpt that you were the one that i loved and id do anything to get you back. i tried being your freind, i would call you up and act like i was cool with you and cool with us just being freinds, i tried being cold and distant, but i couldnt bare being without you for that long. i tried to just talk to you on the phone, and hang sometimes, but you never had time for me, and you always seemed to be concentrated on other things. and when i tried to express my pain on my lj, i got metaphoricaly kicked in the face by the people you called your closest freinds. then it seemed like you were never gunna come around and that was the most painful cut of all, so fuck if im doing this shit here, regan, im calling you at 8, and im gunna be online all day, your comming over here and were gunna fucking talk this shit out, im really upset right now and i really need to talk to you, please if you dont pick up, and i miss you online, call me and come over, i need to talk to you (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
6:51 pm	man i realy dont feel like doing this now right, so im dating lindsey now, man does that body go on forever, she is so cool, and we get along so well together, we talk on the phone for like hours on end, and about nothing, its realy amazing. plus cause now im her boyfeind, i get to kiss her, now thats fun. weve mainly just been hanging with my freinds, or going over to eachothers houses, i wish that i had a car so that i could take her places, i realy like her so much. well thats about it, i might have smoked some stuff that i shouldnt have, but other than that, im clean and doing well, i know this is a short one, but when your on a high, sitting in front of a computer isnt on the top of your list of things to do right now. oh, yeah, do you like the pic? steph took it, i think it doesnt look half bad, but im my worst critic, so whatever, not that were on the topic, i think the best pic that ive ever taken, was the one that i took when i was in jail, man, it may have just been cause i was just in a car crash, and had just had alot of boose, but i realy liked that one, but the bastards fucking cut it off me, and didnt let me keep it, man that pissed me off real good like, well thats it, c ya (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 1st, 2004
12:15 am	cause i could do it, thats why!!!!!!!!!!! right, so new journal, not much to say, jason is sexy, call if you need more info on this subject. if not you can fuck off!!!!!!!!!!! (Comment on this)